10 things I didn't know before Fatherhood!

10 things I didn't know before Fatherhood!...and nobody told me :)

Being a Father is the best thing in the world and I'm lucky to be largely a stay home Dad at the moment. But..here is a lighthearted look at some of the things you don't know beforehand! 

1. Priorities

Most people expect their priorities to change, but maybe don't expect how much their perspective will shift on things. I was watching The Vikings last night and I turned and said to my wife, "He's got a great plait."

Everything looks different after kids.

2. Needing new skills

There are many new skills you must develop. For example, poo in the bath is trickier to clean up than you might think. Where do you pour the water? Should you try to 'fish' first? Never mind what to do with the now wet and poo-stained baby in the first place!

3. 8.15am is a lie in

This is self explanatory and my wife and I let each other have this haven once a week. And yes you really look forward to it! Caveat- you may still have a child evade your other half and come in to ask you for a snack or to be taken to the toilet. 

4. Coffee is your best friend

Another self explanatory one I think, but very true.

5. You seldom see the outside world after 6pm

You may well feel giddy if you do venture out on an evening.  Though, probably this will be not with your other half as someone must listen out for the wee sprogs. Driving in the dark also appears new again- 'what is this weird experience?' you may well ask yourself. 

'Why is there no one in the back seat asking for something or crying?'

6. You pressure your childless friends 

Not to have children, oh no. You say they must go on holiday, go out to the cinema more, do this, do it! You look to vicariously enjoy these things through them and warn, 'Do it before you have kids!' 

7. Food is inhaled, not eaten

With always something to do or particularly if you're brave enough to try and eat at the same time as your kids- you learn to clear a plate in seconds. You may tell your kids not to rush their food, but you'll probably have already finished yours.

8. You can develop ninja skills

You will learn how to creep around your own house in the evening without making a sound, balancing various objects, perhaps even in the dark. This is all for the very good reason to 

KEEP THE CHILDREN ASLEEP.

9. Groundhog Day

Prepare yourself to do the same tasks over and over, namely: Feed, Clean, Repeat. As you scrape up dis-guarded crisps, squished broccoli and bread crumbs, you may well reflect that you will be cleaning the same spot another five times that day.

10. Kids are also highly skilled 

Children will surprise you with how fast they learn to walk, learn to talk, write. But, perhaps the greatest skill is if you try and have a sweet or piece of chocolate- your child will hear the tiniest crinkle of a wrapper and appear at your side saying, 'I want some.'