Simon Maltman Blogs

  Trumped by Simon Maltman A Mick Walker Story   1999   New York was New York. It was how you would expect to find it in winter. It was cold, noisy, and the streets were filled with people. Lots of people. I filled my lungs with sweet Marlboro tar, but my nostrils still managed to pick up the scent of grilling sausages, car fumes and somebody’s heavy aftershave.  I crossed past The Museum of Modern Art and headed up Fifth Avenue. I finished my smoke and tossed it towards a drain. I stopped to catch my reflection in a shop window. My eyes were a little red, I hadn’t shaved all that well that morning, but other than that I suppose I looked alright. I marched on, getting closer to my destination, but not all that keen on getting there.  When I peered through the glass of the café, I saw that McGoohan was already seated, blowing over the top of a cappuccino. He looked rigid as always, still and poised. His eyes met mine, but he didn’t react. I went on in, ignoring ...

  I first got into The Prisoner when I was around 10. I was on a family holiday to Wales and we stayed a few nights in a cottage in Portmeirion. Each night at '6', an episode was shown. I was immediately hooked.  For years I hunted out VHS copies until I finally had all of the episodes. I joined the Six of One fan club, searched for everything Patrick McGoohan had ever done & have been pretty obsessed ever since. So, for the heck of it, here's a Prisoner inspired short story, featuring my series character, Mick Walker.  Be Seeing You. Adorn The Present By Simon Maltman     Walker comes to with a start. He is lying on an empty beach, turquoise sea stretching out ahead of him. He scrambles to his feet. The sun is rising above the vast ocean. Walker spins around, completely disorientated.    Where am I?    Behind him on the cliff above is the outline of a beautiful Italianate village. Coloured in pastels of yellow, orange a...

Here’s a new short story for anyone who fancies a very quick read- it’s written as a single text conversation… for the craic.    Instant Massacring by  Simon Maltman   (Transcription provided  by Police Service Northern Ireland of text message conversation between Colin Irvine and Brenda Irvine.)   … ​ ​ Colin- ​ ​ Wheres me coffee?   ​ Brenda-     Brewing now ffs   ​ Colin-     Bet ur sitting on your arse, not even boiled the kettle yet   wink emoji   ​ Brenda-   ​ Angry emoji  Maybe you should  come downstairs and  make it yourself ! You’re  on the shitter I  bet. ​ ​ Colin-      Maybe   ​ Brenda-   ​ Not in the en-suite?!   ​ Colin- ​     Maybe   ​ Brenda-         fucksake  vomit emoji   ​ Colin- ​ ​   haha   ​ Brend a- ​ Every feckin night- nine  on the button you stinkoid! At least we’re  o...