Brexit means Breakfast




The Northern Ireland Assembly broke down today again, this time over a controversy regarding breakfast. ;)


Following the triggering of Article 50, another letter was delivered to the EU. DUP leader, Arlene Foster snuck off to Brussels, to deliver a letter that stated that Northern Ireland will not give up its autonomy over breakfast- The Ulster Fry. This was the apparent reason for the DUP initially wanting to support the Leave Campaign.

"We will not sacrifice our culture. We have fried sausage and bacon since the first bonfires in 1690. Ulster says no to frankfurters, no to croissants, no to free-range eggs."

A deal on breakfast between the DUP and Sinn Fein seems unlikely after Gerry Adams posted on Facebook that, "I want to see an all-Ireland Freestate Fry. Soda bread and tatey bread are nice enough, but really just for the Ulster-Scots. I want an Irish Breakfast Act. I will listen to all communities however, and I want a border poll on breakfast where all ingredients are discussed."

When Arlene Foster was asked to comment on Adams's comments, she said, "If you feed a crocodile breakfast, he'll keep coming back for more."

Shortly afterwards, Donald Trump tweeted that, "Northern Ireland has denied the inclusion of hash browns or maple syrup with breakfast. Sad!"

NI Secretary, James Brokenshire was asked for his thoughts and replied, "No comment."



(If any doubt- none of this is real and is meant to be a joke!)

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