Simon Maltman Blogs

Below are samples from each of my Bongo Fury books.  Currently book 1 is 99p and Book 2 is £1.99. Bongo Fury Chapter 1 So, first thing’s first; I didn’t expect things to get as fucked up as they did. But it happens, so that’s life I suppose. I just don’t want people getting the wrong impression about me. I’m not just some hard-nut wanker who came out of the estates. Yeah, I’m a Prod, from an estate in Northern Ireland- but that doesn’t define me. I’ve got a fucking literature degree- I’ve read Mansfield Park- okay? I actually quite liked it too. Anyway, I suppose I’d better go back to the start. Two years ago, life was pretty normal. If you’re reading this, then I suppose you already know I’m Jimmy Black, I’m forty two and I come from Ards in Northern Ireland. You’re bound to have read about me in the tabloids. I’m the one covered in tats, pretty well built, short black hair, and I admit not the prettiest you’ll see in the papers. If you’ve never heard of Ards...

The Snowman... or Snoreman? Snoreman - as you may well fall asleep in this confusing and drab adaption, but more to the point- were the makers asleep? It seemed so promising that Jo Nesbo's bestseller was being made into a film with a great cast, led by Michael Fassbender, and directed by the director of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy . What went wrong? The film sadly makes little sense and characters turn up at seemingly random places throughout, for no obvious reasons. Some characters start to be developed and then just disappear altogether. It's as if someone has dropped a few canisters of film somewhere. It's also such a shame that no motivation is shown much for the main characters and there is little or no suspense at all, when it is meant to be a 'thriller' movie. What is a mystery is why much of the drama is left out that was so rich in the novel. Often movies can be accused of dialing up the action too much, but instead those 'thrillin...

My Bestseller Bongo Fury is free on Amazon until Sunday! Book 2 is launched today and is only £1.99! (Both also available in paperback)   Get Here